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Posted On Sep 19, 2017

Updated On Oct 28, 2025

Finding Happiness

Wellness Wisdom

Originally contributed by Gwen Pettit, PT, PCC, MA, MS

Happiness is what many of us strive for and people often make life changes in the pursuit of feeling happier. These life changes often appear "big" or "extreme" - as an example, someone who says they are selling their house and moving to a new city to start a new life. Changes, however, don't have to be huge to impact our life and sense of contentment. In fact, even small changes in our daily actions can significantly impact our emotional state and level of happiness. 

Consider that happiness is a process and not a place or destination. Giving up these five things can contribute to your sense of happiness every single day:

1) Give up complaining.

The more you complain about something the more power, time and energy you lose thinking about that something.

2) Give up limiting beliefs.

Many times we don’t take action or we avoid trying something new because we believe we can’t do it or that we might fail or make a mistake. Open up your mind to all options and consider if your beliefs are based on reality or stem from a fear of failing.

3)  Stop negative self-talk.

How we talk to ourselves greatly impacts our interpretation of events and how we feel about the outcome. Listen to your self-talk for a day to determine how much of it is supportive and positive or negative and self-deprecating.

4)  Give up on being perfect.

Perfectionism is a barrier to learning and personal development. Adults learn by trial and error. Most people who expect to be "perfect" avoid the very things or activities that will help them learn and grow. 

5) Give up making choices to impress other people.

You are the one living your life. It only makes sense that you make the choices that support your own needs and goals.

Robert Biswas-Diener from Portland State University points to 3 areas of focus that can improve on our happiness factor:

  • Focus on the positive. Be optimistic.
  • Relive your positive moments.
  • Choose to interpret events in a positive manner.

Remember that what you focus on grows. To have a shot at "happiness," you need to stop dwelling on the the negative.

Ask yourself:  What brings me joy? What stops me from being happy? What am I willing to do right now to bring more joy into my life?

Is it that simple? Just decide to be happy? Not sure, but it's worth giving it a try. I believe that happiness is a state of mind and that everyone deserves to have happiness in their life.